Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?
The phrase is like a sudden shock throughout my body.
I do?
I don't?
Ding dong ding dong
The church bells build up the pressure
Waiting, waiting for the answer he hopes
Waiting for me to say
I do
But what does my heart say?
I love this man
And he loves me
He will soon put this ring on my finger
Excepting and confirming our feelings towards one another
Who would have ever thought
The answer to the hardest decision in my life
could be as simple as two words.
Two simple words that could change my life forever
I prepare myself to let out my final answer
Fear overwhelms me for a moment
The fear soon turns to a heart warming feeling
A burst of happiness
A burst of excitement
A burst of curiousness
My future is unfolding at this very moment
Of course I want to marry this man
Spend the rest of my life with him
I love him
And he loves me
I do is just two words
Two words that may change my life forever
Two words that mean the world
With that being said,
I do
I love the end of this!It's good how you talk about the words "I do" the whole time and then end the way you did. Amazing job!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good Emma!!! I love the idea of focusing on those two important words in a wedding!! I absoulutely loveeeee your title :D I also really like your last two lines!! umm for the piece of adive?? well maybe next time you could try to make all your lines somewhat of the same length, or have a pattern where it goes short long short long!! That may make it flow better!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Emma! I love how you emphasized the words, "I do," and how important they are. Next time you could maybe make it longer or describe the setting more; I just kept wanting to hear more! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really cool. I like how you end it with: "I do", because it gives the finish a dramatic effect. Also, the build up to the ending is awesome. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good. Your descriptions were amazing and gave a perfect visual of what was happening. You closed it out perfectly with "I do." Great job Emma! :)
ReplyDeleteEmma.. that was so amazing.! I got chills down my spine when i read this. You are a very skilled writer, you should be proud:)I love your title and the way you ended it. I've never really thought of the effect those two simple words can have on your life. I think you portrayed your point perfectly. Like Taylor said, you could have made your poem a little more of a pattern but I still think it was brilliant. Awesome job bud.. <3
ReplyDeleteI also liked this poem. As far as criticism goes, it felt like a more narrative way of presenting the lines may have worked better for you. In other words, making th elines longer, and flowing more as it seemed like you were writing nearly in sentences.
ReplyDelete